Melbourne - we have been out of lockdown for maybe 7 months now. I don’t know about you but there are some parts that are still feeling weird. And it’s not the things I thought it would be. I’m not fussed about being in a crowd, for someone that didn’t love crowds before, I am so excited to see big groups of people together that I’m totally fine and thriving in a crowd now.
Do you know where I’ve been thrown a bit? With fashion and clothes. I’ve spent the past year wearing trackies and stained jumpers. (I’m still keeping them because I love them and I hope one day the stains will miraculously disappear!) The amount of times I’ve had to dress up has been once. I’ve got another coming in a few weeks and I’m still not sure after the last time.
I was going to the theatre. I couldn’t wear jeans. It was one pf those perfectly Melbourne Autumn days, surprisingly mild, not cold, not hot - so what to wear.
I rarely do this but I pulled most of my wardrobe out to find something to wear. I threw on all of my dresses but shoes were a problem. I’ve lived in a pair of white sneakers for the past year. I love a dress and sneakers look but this all just looked wrong.
I pulled out some black heeled ankle boots and put them on with my dresses. This also looked wrong because I wasn’t wearing tights. I’m short, I need stockings to created the illusion of height but boots on their own with dresses just make me look shorter.
After a while of puzzling around my wardrobe, I realised what it was. I have all these items in my wardrobe that have also been in lockdown. And the last time I wore them, I was a different person in a different life. I’m not sure if the clothes represent the person that I am anymore or if I’m just out of practice wearing these nice clothes.
I am the owner of an earrings shop. Earrings make an outfit to me. During the pandemic, I was able to keep that as a strong part of my identity and who I am. It’s me Yasmin, short, big hair and big earrings. And lets face it, it didn’t matter what I was wearing as no one was looking and if they were, they were distracted by the earrings.
I thought that when I got out of lockdown I would be in sparkly dresses and everything over the top but nope, i wonder if anyone will notice the stain on my jumper if I wear it out? I thought I would want to balance out the year that was with loads of pretty and sparkly but I’m just not feeling it.
I think in the end, I don’t feel like me is represented in the clothes I have. I went to the shops to have a look around and none of that felt like me either. I feel meh about clothing and I have never felt that way.
It's a strange place to be, I’m sure it will change and I’ll get excited about becoming this new version of myself but for now, please don’t invite me to any parties. I’ve got nothing to wear.
