Loving the world right now

Loving the world right now

If you've followed along for a while, you know that there's a lot of feminist musings. As a life long feminist, there's not a great deal to be happy about so we have to take the wins where we can.

But over the past few months, there have been a few things to celebrate.

I'm a feminist because I want more for all of us. I love men. And I love women. I love humans and I want more for all of us.

Society does us all a disservice, in these ideas of feminine and masculine traits as opposed to human traits. We all grow up in this set of conditions, according to our gender, which constricts and restricts us all.

 

Being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes...

A big part of understanding the gender boxes we've been placed in, is hearing and seeing each other stories.

Women don't know what it's like for men.
To have to hide your emotions
To be strong all the time
To not ask for help
To be in the world and feel safe

Men don't know what it's like for women.
To not feel safe 
To be valued for looks and relationships over achievements
To have periods
To be 'allowed' to be emotional

And so it's only when we hear, see, listen, pay attention to, get curious about other's stories that we can put ourselves in each other's shoes and try and make the world a bit different for each other going forwards.

 

This is what I've been loving....

There have lot of opportunities for men to experience how women might feel of late. Here's a couple of examples.

Barbie - This movie did so much for women and men but I've been amused by the outrage that has gone along with it. The main critique is that the movie portrays men poorly and that's where you lose men.  Men could have been educated by this movie about feminism and the patriarchy but because of the movie showing men the way they do, men have tuned out because they don't see themselves in the movie.

(I love, love, love the Man Enough podcast - check out their Barbie conversation here. It's fascinating!)

I find this hilarious because this movie flipped patriarchy and showed the men in a way that women have been portrayed for years. All about looks, not the main storyline. Women have been watching these movies for years. The Bechdel test exists for a reason!

There are so many stories that need to be told. Human stories.

 

Have you seen this video? Showing what's it's like when we treat male athletes the way we treat female athletes.

 

Taylor Swift's new boyfriend (I know! I'm doing gossip)

Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend and whilst I don't generally do gossip, this one is interesting to me. He's a sportsperson and now because he's dating Taylor Swift, he's been defined and asked about his relationship over his sporting prowess. This has happened to women for years but it's interesting watching it happen the other way.

The video above makes it clear how women have been treated and it's something that doesn't generally happpen to men, until now. I'm here for it.

Here's what usually happens.
Scarlett Johansson taking on everyone here.
And The Wide World of Sexism here
Watch them both - they're so good!

When men and women get to experience how the opposite gender feels, it changes how you show up in the world. How you might see things differently. Maybe you won't ask that question again or you'll phrase something differently.

Good male role models are hard to find. And people are watching always so if you can show up and do something differently, there's an opportunity that something you do changes the next person, that then changes the next person.

And this is how society changes.

 

Some suggestions

Watch your language
Watch for your bias especially in the language we use. I got called out the other day (lovingly) by one of the guys at work because I used Man up. As a language nerd, I like to think I'm pretty good with being intentional with my words, but that was a good pick up.

(I don't believe we have to police each other's language, just our own. People get scared of saying the wrong thing and then not even trying to do better. I haven't said it yet in this newsletter but we are all doing the best we can!)

Have Period talk
I was chatting periods with another guy at work (the guys I'm working with at the moment are awesome!) and I think we need to chat freely about periods with men. They have been secret womens business but this has to change. If something is happening to women and you don't understand, how can you have compassion? If I think about the times that I've felt crampy and not quite myself or gone home and just explained it as feeling sick, but how can men learn about these things if we don't share them. 

Seek out stories
I've attended these events called Conversations with Men (as part of my 40 events over 2023) and it's fascinating. Men write a letter or talk to their younger self. They are beautiful conversations and I've told all my friends they need to go. There's one happening next week if you're in Melbourne!  What I find fascinating is the audience. It's probably 70/30 women to men at these conversations. Women want more for men. They come to these events and bring their partners. I would love for everyone to go to one of these events.

They have started a new event which is essentially conversations with women and the breakdown is like 95% women. We all need to be curious about each other's lives.

Ask better questions
Whenever I catch up with couples that have kids, I make a point of asking the dad about the kids and the mum about work. I like switching it up. Historically it's the opposite.  Women and men are doing both and the more we allow everyone to be the layered humans we are, the better off we all we be.

Read/Watch/Listen to other content.
Can you watch different content from what you usually do? I highly recommend the Man Enough Podcast but I've got plenty of others. I'll share a list in the coming weeks.

We can't be mad at society. We are society, we make it and we get to change it.
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